NFL Week 8 Picks

Today, the NFL features a game in London. England. Why? Heck knows, but those in the know seem to think an NFL franchise is going to move there sooner rather than later. Minnesota? Jacksonville? Buffalo? (See also: Pro Football Talk Week 8 Mailbag).

1pm

  • Denver +2½ over SF (At London) SF is the "Home" team. Which is probabaly a relief to 49er fans. Further proof the NFL is contemptuous of its fans.
  • Jacksonville +6½ at DALLAS. I’ve taking Jax and points all year, and been getting burned. Stockholm Syndrome? The crowd will have plenty to talk about, such as who’ll be replacing Wade "Norv Turner" Phillips at the end of the year. Or end of the game, perhaps.
  • DETROIT – 2½ over Washington. Stafford returns to a pretty good Detroit offense.
  • NY JETS -6 over GB.
  • ST. LOUIS -2 over Carolina. Shame to see John Fox go out like this, but it’s partly his own doing.
  • MIAMI +1 over Cincinnati. I don’t like the Bengals at all.
  • Buffalo +7 over KANSAS CITY. The Bills are bound to cover some time. And maybe even win.
  • 4pm

  • Tennessee +4 over SAN DIEGO. The Eagles wrote up the game plan last week. Can the Chargers execute it? Let’s see if Norv "Wade Phillips" Turner watched the tape.
  • ARIZONA -3 over Tampa Bay. Coaching will help the Cardinals? I guess?
  • OAKLAND -2½ over Seattle.
  • NEW ENGLAND +5½ over Minnesota. This is going to be a great game according to the National Media, because they are a bunch of gossip columnists.

Sunday Night

  • Pittsburgh +1 over NO. Basically a pick ’em, but the Saints just don’t seem right.

Monday Night

  • Houston +5½ over INDIANAPOLIS. This is an "I think they’ll keep it close" kind of pick.

Byes

More Fan Contempt: six cities get to Not Care about football this week.

  • Atlanta
  • Baltimore
  • Chicago
  • Cleveland
  • NYG
  • Philadelphia

NFL Week 7 Picks

I like reading how stupid my picks turn out to be. For example, of the Eagles-Falcons games, I wrote the “Falcons are clearly the better team.” HAHA. It’
s almost as funny as watching the Cowboys lose on yet another weekend of boneheaded plays against a Vikings team that seemed to want to lose.

1pm

  • MIAMI +3 over Pittsburgh, on General Principle.
  • ATLANTA -3½ I don’t like Cincinnati at all.
  • Jacksonville +9at KANSAS CITY. Wow. 9 points.
  • TENNESSEE -3 over Philadelphia. I’ve now picked against the Eagles 3 weeks in a row I think. Luckily, they have a bye next week.
  • CHICAGO -3 over Washington. Whew, another snoozefest.
  • Cleveland +12½ over NEW ORLEANS. I just missed with the Browns last week. NO just isn’t the same, and I think teams are really getting
    up to play them.
  • BALTIMORE -12½ over the Buffalo "OH THE HUMANITY" Bills.
  • San Francisco -2½ over CAROLINA. Man there are a lot of crap teams in the NFL. Here’s 2 of them.
  • St. Louis +3 over TAMPA BAY. Nothing to recommend this game, which I presume will be blacked out because not even the fans of these teams can
    bare to watch.

4pm

  • Arizona +7 over SEATTLE. Go Max Hall!
  • New England +2½ over SAN DIEGO. I think the Pats would love to beat the living tar out of a team, and San Diego, you’re up.
  • OAKLAND +7 over Denver. Should be a fun game. If you’re a big Kyle Orton guy.

Sunday Night

  • Minnesota +3 over GREEN BAY, just because the NFL is rigged and this has to happen.

Monday Night

  • DALLAS -3 over NY Giants. The ‘boys had referees at practice this week to help cut down on penalties. Presumably, they act out when they score
    in practice, too.

Byes

  • Detroit
  • Houston
  • Indianapolis
  • NY Jets

NFL Week 6 Picks

I think I was .500 last week, hang on a second. OK, I’m back, yeah, .500. My own Eagles went ahead and won to spoil my chance at breaking the Mendoza Line. Can I use a baseball term here? Sure, why not: The Phillies are in the NLCS! Whoot!

Philly.com reports that Kevin Kolb took most of the snaps this week, and it looks like he’s the start vs. Atlanta Sunday. I think he should play the following week, too, at Tennessee. The week after that is the bye week, so that would give Vick a solid 4 weeks to recover. I think missing 2 games to fully heal is the smart move.

1pm

  • ST. LOUIS +8 over San Diego. I don’t like San Diego.
  • HOUSTON -4½ over KC. Houston has to rebound.
  • Baltimore +4 over NE. ESPN really annoys me. I know it’s not really a sports network, but how do they rank the Steelers over the Ravens when the Ravens just beat the Steelers – in Pittsburgh!?
  • TAMPA BAY +4 over New Orleans. I think the Saints will find a way to win, but I think Tampa will hang tough.
  • Atlanta +2½ over PHILADELPHIA. I don’t understand why the Falcons are getting points. I think they are clearly the better team.
  • Detroit +10 over NY GIANTS. Yes, Detroit has to learn to win on the road. But these aren’t the same old Detroit Lions. I think they can keep this close.
  • Seattle +6½ over CHICAGO. Wait, I meant to pick the Bears. Oh, well, I typed it now.
  • Miami +3 over GREEN BAY. Miami is quite healthy. Green Bay is not.
  • Cleveland +13½ over PITTSBURGH. Pittsburgh re-learned to stop worrying and love the run while that Big Doofus was on suspension. I wouldn’t be surprised if 13 points won the game.

4pm

  • NY Jets -3 over DENVER. I will never bet against the Jets ever again.
  • OAKLAND +6½ over San Francisco. I will never bet on the 49ers ever again. How is an 0-5 team that makes an average of 12 mistakes a game a 6½ point favorite? I think Oakland is playing hard for some reason they’ll keep it close.
  • MINNESOTA -1½ over Dallas. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

Sunday Night

  • Indianapolis -3 over WASHINGTON. I think the Colts will be super-ready to play this game, and get a win on the road.

Monday Night

  • JACKSONVILLE +3 over Tennessee. I saw signs of life in Jacksonville last week.

Byes

  • Arizona
  • Buffalo
  • Carolina
  • Cincinnati

NFL Week 5 Picks

Last week, I somehow lost more games than were actually played. Fearlessly, we plunge in to Week 5. Home Team in Caps. Maybe I’ll at least get that right.

1pm

  • BALTIMORE -8 over Denver.
  • BUFFALO -2½ over Jacksonville
  • INDIANAPOLIS -7½ over KC. Can you see KC 4-0 while Indy falls to 2-3? Neither can I.
  • DETROIT -3 over St. Louis. The Lions are favored! Yay Lions!
  • Atlanta -3 over CLEVELAND. I think the Browns will give them a good game.
  • CINCINNATI -6½ over whoever they are playing. I think it’s Tampa Bay.
  • Chicago +3 over CAROLINA. I don’t like either team, not even a little bit.
  • HOUSTON -3 over NY Giants.
  • Green Bay -2½ over WASHINGTON. Redskins-Eagles last week was probably the worst professional football game I’ve ever seen.

4pm

  • New Orleans -7 over ARIZONA. Let the Max Hall era begin! With a loss.
  • OAKLAND +7 over San Diego. *Shrug* Why not. The Battle of the Broadcast Blackouts figures to attract a crowd of a dozen or so.
  • DALLAS -7 over Tennesse. Is Vince Young the QB still? Or did Matt Leinart take over? Or is Jake Delhomme?

Sunday Night

  • SAN FRANCISCO -3 over Philadelphia. The Eagles appear to be in complete disarray, a season that’s a write-off. The Defensive Coordinator seems completely lost on the sidelines, Shawn Bradley is calling the wrong defense on the field. Brandon Graham, touted as a terrific bookend to Trent Cole has – for reasons knowon only to our DC – been mixed in at DT! Nate Allen seems like the Real Deal so far, although he’s not the Leader/ Hitter Dawkins was. In fact, nobody on this team is.

Monday Night

  • NY JETS -4½ over Minnesota. Favre returns blah blah Randy Moss blah more blah.

Byes

  • Miami
  • New England
  • Pittsburgh
  • Seattle

Res Ipsa Loquitur

T-Shirt seen this morning in Shop RIte, verbatim:

  • "If you ain’t a Eagles Fan, you ain’t sh*t."