NFL Week 12 Picks

Welcome to a Childress-Free Week 12!

Chilly’s gone, and I imagine Brett’s … happy? So happy, in fact, that he apparently got sick and may have pneumonia. I just got vaccinated against pneumonia. Apparently I have a better doctor than Brett.

Still, Brett doesn’t have Brad to blame any more. Neither does the rest of the team.

The Only Problem Brett Favre Has

They had a “dysfunctional” locker room. Dunno how this helps them on the field, but we’ll see. The only problem Brett has left is the sexting or whatever the hell was going on with Jenn Sterger.


  • WASHINGTON -2 over Minnesota. Brett Favre “might” have “pneumonia.” Minnesota “stinks.” The Vikes are 0-5 on the road and have yet to cover. Why start now?
  • Pittsburgh -6½ over Buffalo. The Bills’ 2 Game Win Streak ends today I think.
  • HOUSTON -5½ over Tennessee. Let the Rusty Smith Era Begin!
  • Jacksonville +7½ over NY GIANTS. Whoa. How are the Giants 7½ point favorites over anyone, anywhere, when they turn the ball over like that? Plus I think both teams want revenge against Tom Coughlin.
  • CLEVELAND -9 over Carolina. In consideration of Panther fan, I don’t have the heart to look up the last time the Browns were 9 point favorites.
  • Green Bay +1½ over ATLANTA. Atlanta has to lose at home some time, why not now? This week’s GAME OF THE CENTURY!


  • Tampa Bay +7½ over BALTIMORE. I’m not convinced either team can score 7½ points, so I’ll take the underdog.
  • OAKLAND -3 over Miami. I feel bad for Miami, but it’s their own damn fault they haven’t had a quarterback in over a decade.
  • Kansas City -2 over SEATTLE. Either Seattle’s a fraud or Kansas City is. Possibly both.
  • St. Louis +3½ over DENVER. The Rams are going to win a road game, I just know it!
  • Philadelphia -3 over CHICAGO. As a true Philadelphian, I am simply waiting for the Other Shoe to drop and watch a completely miserable Eagles game. On the other hand, this is the Bears and Jay Cutler we’re talking about here. The line moved ½ point in the Bears direction during the week.

Sunday Night

  • INDIANAPOLIS -2 over San Diego. Teams somehow, sometimes, just find ways to win when they really shouldn’t.

Monday Night

  • ARIZONA +1 over San Franciso. What is the point of Flex Scheduling if you can’t move a stinker like this one? Eh, I have a couple episodes of “Fringe” DVR’d.

NFL Week 12 Thanksgiving Day Picks

Happy Thanksgiving!

What could be better than three NFL contests on Thanksgiving Day? Three good NFL contests, that’s what. These games all look like clunkers to me. But watch out! Surely there’s a trap here somewhere! Admiral Ackbar?

Thanks Mike M.


  • DETROIT +7 over New England. Ndamukong Suh, welcome to the National Stage.


  • New Orleans -4 over DALLAS. Not yet sold on the Dallas Run The Table bandwagon.


  • NY JETS -9½ over Cincinnati. I hope Rex has the boys looking a little sharper in this one. Anyway, you know I think the Bungles stink.

Brett Favre Is A Bad Quarterback Now

Once Upon A Time …

Last year, Brett Favre played lights out – a career year – in quarterbacking the Minnesota Vikings to the NFC Championship Game. This year, Brad Childress begged Favre to come back (according to reports just Google it or trust me), perhaps thinking that this was the year the Vikings would finally break through and lose the Super Bowl again to break their tie with Buffalo as the losingest team in Super Bowl history.

Well, that’s not gonna happen, because Brett Favre stinks this year. Now that you’ve fired Childress, maybe Minnesota will finally figure out what anyone who’s watched football since 1997 knows: Brett Favre will end your season with an interception.

Last year, he only threw 7 all season. Still, he heaved up an interception in New Orleans to end the season. Just as he has done against Miami, Seattle, the NY Giants, the Philadelphia Eagles. And maybe more. That’s just off the top of my head. In fact, Brett Favre Interceptions That End Seasons even have their own facebook page, right here.

Brett Favre
This Man is Not a Starting NFL Quarterback

This year, the story is even worse. My favorite statistic of all is: wins. If you win, I could care less about the other numbers. So first off: he ain’t winning. I don’t understand why that’s not enough to make a change at quarterback, but, OK. That’s the coach’s call.

Only wait, in the case of Favre, it apparently isn’t. Childress was shown the door earlier this week. And remember how Eric Mangini was shown the door after the Jets collapse in 2008? Coach – and team – killer. Imagine the mess that would have ensued in NY had Favre taken the Jets to the AFC Championship that year.

By The Numbers

Let’s take a look at Favre’s QB Rating. It stinks. I mean, really stinks. Name a quarterback who isn’t Matt Moore, and Favre’s rating is worse. 32nd. His rating through 10 games is 69.8. This puts him below such luminaries as  Alex Smith and Derek Anderson. The man is a full 10 points behind Shaun Hill. Don’t believe me? Here are the QB Ratings at

He has thrown more interceptions (17) than anyone else in the league. He has lost 5 fumbles. He’s given the Other Team the ball 22 times. Let me write that out: Twenty-Two times.

Might As Well Have Forfeited Two Games

Forget time of possession. Let’s just talk number of possessions. Surprisingly, I found it difficult to find an authoritative article on the matter. But buried here in this Advanced NFL Stats article, the author figures the average is 11.5, so I’ll run with that.

That means that Favre basically has given away nearly 2 full games worth of possessions.

What To Do?

I’ve no clue. If the Vikings don’t like Tarvaris Jackson, why is he on the roster? I had to go do some investigating to find out that the other quarterback on the roster is one Joe Webb, a 6th round draft pick. Coincidentally, I discovered that no less than Fran Tarkenton suggested publicly that Joe Webb should be starting. Might as well, I think.

I sure don’t think there’s any point in paying Brett Favre $1 million per game to finish 5-11. He’s done, has no part in the future, and I can’t imagine he’s worth a damn in the locker room.

Cut him and let him join Randy Moss in Tennessee. They seem to be having some Quarterback Problems, too.

Why The NHL Is Better Than The NFL, Peter “Phumpher” King Edition

Peter “uh, you know, uh, eh, uh, I would say this, uh, you know, uh” King writes in his column today that he’s received a lot of email to the effect that readers “hate Big Ben and think he had it coming.” To wit:

You know what? I have no problem with what Richard Seymour did. I don’t know what Ben Roethlisberger was doing, and I don’t care. He just ran right up into Seymour’s face, which I don’t believe he had any business doing, and Seymour had him take a seat, pretty much like he deserved. My question: Will the league take Roethlisberger’s taunting action into account when they determine Seymour’s punishment?

To which King responded that this is preposterous, etc.

In hockey, if a guy starts yapping and gets in your face, you drop your gloves, punch him, and go sit in the penalty box for 5 minutes.

So hockey is better because you don’t have to hear Peter “Phumpher” King pontificate about a stupid incident like this.

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