Your Government (Not) At Work.

Let Me Eat Cake!

I cannot imagine what makes people think that Excess Government can ever make anything any better. Have they never dealt with Government? Consider my lunch today:

After listening to a dizzying array of menu options for Camden County court, I finally tracked down the family court option. The phone then rang for a solid 11 minutes and 45 seconds. Not answered. No voicemail. Not disconnected. Just ringing and ringing and ringing. I eventually gave up and hung up, which I am pretty sure is what the Court employees wanted me to do in the first place.

Call The FCC!

Next up: Riverside, NJ. There, I got voicemail – on the first call! And to their credit I did get a call back within an hour. I was then interrogated as to why I was calling there. I said I thought this was where I could get the information I needed. This went on for about 10 minutes when, finally, the caller relented, and just looked up the records – turns out, “not found.” Which we could have not found about 10 minutes earlier had we simply looked it up in the first place. But, I guess policy is policy, and policy dictated that I needed to call Delanco.

So I called Delanco. My first 3 calls ended when I pressed “0” – as instructed – for the operator. A recorded voice nicely said “Please wait while I transfer you,” and promptly hung up on me.

The system had provided me with an option to dial by name, apparently under the assumption that I know the name, extension,  title and responsibilities of every municipal employee of Delanco. In fact I knew only roughly what department I thought I might need: Vital Statistics.

Rather than simply type in names at random, which as far as I could tell is what the phone system wanted me to do, I returned to Google. I got a name and an extension and dialed again and … of course got a voice mail recording. Is the Delanco Statistics Bureau even now, at 1:57pm on a December Wednesday, so overrun by requests for marriage certificates that no one can get to the phone?

The next time you think you want the government to do Something Big, like launch an FCC investigation into Bristol Palin’s appearance on Dancing with the Stars, think twice.

Or at least once.

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