NFL Week 13 Thursday Night Special – Go Eagles!

12:30pm

  • PHILADELPHIA -8½ over Houston. DeSean Jackson will have to learn to live in that 10-20 yard range; teams will play him deep and tough right at the line – just as the Giants and Bears did. The Texans secondary Stinks Out Loud, so we ought to be able to throw the ball. Of course, I still think the Eagles defense is suspect and Andre Johnson, fresh off of his TKO of Cortland Finnegan, will score. Heck, he could put up 600 yards. This could be an AFL type game, 42-31 kind of affair.

NFL Week 12 Picks

Welcome to a Childress-Free Week 12!

Chilly’s gone, and I imagine Brett’s … happy? So happy, in fact, that he apparently got sick and may have pneumonia. I just got vaccinated against pneumonia. Apparently I have a better doctor than Brett.

Still, Brett doesn’t have Brad to blame any more. Neither does the rest of the team.

The Only Problem Brett Favre Has

They had a “dysfunctional” locker room. Dunno how this helps them on the field, but we’ll see. The only problem Brett has left is the sexting or whatever the hell was going on with Jenn Sterger.

1pm

  • WASHINGTON -2 over Minnesota. Brett Favre “might” have “pneumonia.” Minnesota “stinks.” The Vikes are 0-5 on the road and have yet to cover. Why start now?
  • Pittsburgh -6½ over Buffalo. The Bills’ 2 Game Win Streak ends today I think.
  • HOUSTON -5½ over Tennessee. Let the Rusty Smith Era Begin!
  • Jacksonville +7½ over NY GIANTS. Whoa. How are the Giants 7½ point favorites over anyone, anywhere, when they turn the ball over like that? Plus I think both teams want revenge against Tom Coughlin.
  • CLEVELAND -9 over Carolina. In consideration of Panther fan, I don’t have the heart to look up the last time the Browns were 9 point favorites.
  • Green Bay +1½ over ATLANTA. Atlanta has to lose at home some time, why not now? This week’s GAME OF THE CENTURY!

4pm(ish)

  • Tampa Bay +7½ over BALTIMORE. I’m not convinced either team can score 7½ points, so I’ll take the underdog.
  • OAKLAND -3 over Miami. I feel bad for Miami, but it’s their own damn fault they haven’t had a quarterback in over a decade.
  • Kansas City -2 over SEATTLE. Either Seattle’s a fraud or Kansas City is. Possibly both.
  • St. Louis +3½ over DENVER. The Rams are going to win a road game, I just know it!
  • Philadelphia -3 over CHICAGO. As a true Philadelphian, I am simply waiting for the Other Shoe to drop and watch a completely miserable Eagles game. On the other hand, this is the Bears and Jay Cutler we’re talking about here. The line moved ½ point in the Bears direction during the week.

Sunday Night

  • INDIANAPOLIS -2 over San Diego. Teams somehow, sometimes, just find ways to win when they really shouldn’t.

Monday Night

  • ARIZONA +1 over San Franciso. What is the point of Flex Scheduling if you can’t move a stinker like this one? Eh, I have a couple episodes of “Fringe” DVR’d.

NFL Week 11 Picks

Here we are in the home stretch. Or, at least, the second half. The injury lists could fill a museum – and the NFL wants an 18 games schedule. Brian St. Pierre is starting a professional football game, people. What has this league come to?

Certainly not its senses.

1pm

  • Oakland +7 over PITTSBURGH. I dunno why, I’m just guessing like everyone else.
  • NY JETS -6½ over Houston’s Annual Swoon Platoon.
  • Baltimore -13 over CAROLINA. See also: Brian St. Pierre. Wouldn’t be surprised to see a fan from the stands at QB by the third quarter.
  • TENNESSE -7 over Washington. Perhaps you feel McNabb is due to Break Out. Perhaps you think the Skins Defense will show up this week. Perhaps you are a fool.
  • DALLAS -6 over Detroit. It is no small measure of the Lions’ Miserable History that this season feels like a success. They are 2-7 people. The Cowboys are a Monstrous Disaster at 2-7. Jon Kitna’s Revenge? Really? It’s come to this? Wow.
  • MINNESOTA +3 over Green Bay and Favre retires, fading into the sunset. No, wait. Somebody told him the Vikings play Washington next week. He’ll be back.
  • Buffalo +4½ over CINCINATTI on General Principle. Ryan Fitzpatrick has a far better TD-INT ratio than Carson Palmer, and a better QB rating. Of course, the Bungles have one more win than 1-8 Buffalo.

    This Man will Win an NFL Game Today
  • JACKSONVILLE -2½ over Cleveland. Just keep handing off to MJD, baby.
  • KANSAS CITY -7½ over Arizona. That Super Bowl mirage a few years ago? That was about it, Cardinal fan. Back to the basement with you.

4pm

  • NEW ORLEANS -11½ over Seattle. Man Seattle is an annoying team.
  • Atlanta -3½ over ST. LOUIS. Atlanta just might be a real good team.
  • Tampa Bay +3½ over SAN FRANCISCO. No way the Niners luck out again this week, right?.
  • NEW ENGLAND -4 over Indianapolis. Closer line than I thought.

Sunday Night

  • PHILADELPHIA -3½ over NY Giants. Basically, the same small hope I held out last week I am carrying into this week.

Monday Night

  • Denver +9½ over SAN DIEGO. I have no clue as to either team, and neither do their coaches.

NFL Week 11 Thursday Night Special

Had a good Sunday – and a Great Monday – last week. Dallas hardly needed those 12½ points they were getting from the Giants. Which brings us to Thursday, which is too early for NFL football, which should start Thanksgiving Thursday. But I understand: there’s no end to the NFL’s greed.

And Rowan got jobbed! No at-large bid for them to the Division III NCAA Playoffs. Well, that’s how the rules work, so tough crap, I guess.

8:20pm

  • MIAMI -2½ over Chicago. Something is weird here. Why is Tyler "I’m not Chad" Thigpen a 2½ point favorite? What am I missing?

    Well this is interesting. Jay Cutler on Turf has a 104.9 rating. 5 TDs against 1INT. A gaudy 65.7% completion percentage.

    But look at this: on Grass, our Man Cutler is completing 59.9% of his passes – that’s not terrible, but that’s a sizeable drop-off. But his passer rating plummets to 78.8. Sure he’s got 7TDs – but he’s thrown 8 INTs, too.

    And that hasn’t been just this year, either. In 2009 – a disaster by any measure – his completion percentage was again a full 6 points lower on grass.

    So there you have it. Because Jay Cutler doesn’t play well on grass, I think he’ll throw 4 INTs and the Dolphins will somehow wildcat their way to a win.