Week 14 NFL Picks

Norv “Peter Principle” Turner Tribute Edition

Today’s interesting tidbit: the San Diego Chargers – now 6-6 after last week’s debacle against the Raiders – have fallen out of oddsmakers’ favor, since the oddsmakers are sane. They’re now going at 15-1, down from last week’s 6-1.

On to our tribute: how much longer can Norv Turner last in San Diego? He’s a mediocre head coach who inherited superior talent from Marty Schottenheimer. Whoops. I mean he’s less than mediocre. Through last week, Norv has a career .480 winning percentrage, 96 wins against 104 losses (and 1 tie).

Brett Favre Did This

Marty has actually won more post-season games (5) in his career than Norv has (4). Of course that stat is a tad skewed, since Norv has only lost 4 games, whereas Marty lost 13.

Norv – and his defensive-minded doppleganger, Wade Phillips – are textbook examples of the Peter Principle. They have each risen to their level of incompetence, are aren’t likely to be head coaches again. Well, once Norv is released from his current duties.

P.S. I was too busy to turn in a pick for Thursday’s game, assuming there was one, which apparently there was but I could care less.


  • JACKSONVILLE -3½ over Oakland. Turns out the NFC West isn’t the only crappy division in football. The AFC South is pretty middling, too.
  • PITTSBURGH -8½ over Cincinnati. How many years – nay, decades – of experience to you need to know that me-first teammates make for bad teams.
  • New England -3 over CHICAGO. I figure this is the week the Real Jay Cutler shows up.
  • BUFFALO Pick ’em over Cleveland. A team that is currently 1-11 cut the Browns’ starting QB before this season.
  • Green Bay -7 over DETROIT. They are still the Lions after all.
  • Atlanta -7½ over CAROLINA. Woe, thy name is “Panther Fan”
  • Tampa Bay -1 over WASHINGTON. What about Mike Shanahan suggests he has head coaching skills any more? Or ever did, for that matter, when his QB isn’t named Elway?


  • St. Louis +9½ over NEW ORLEANS. I just don’t think the Rams will be blown off the field, and that’s a lotta points.
  • Seattle +5 over SAN FRANCISCO. Remember I said I could never take Seattle again this season? Oops. I forgot the 49er Rule – Mike Singletary is still the Head Coach.
  • Miami +5 over NY JETS. The Jets may win, but they aren’t scoring, and Sanchez looks shaky.
  • Denver -4 over ARIZONA. Too bad you can’t just cancel games.
  • Kansas City +10 over SAN DIEGO. I know they don’t have Cassel, but I have no faith in the Chargers. Run, Chiefs, run!

Sunday Night

  • DALLAS +3½ over Philadelphia. Maybe Reid has some Pickle Juice Magic somewhere. But I think we’re watching the beginning of the end of a Good Run for the Eagles. Vick’s blindside is protected, such as it is, by King Dunlap and Asante Samual is out.

Monday Night

  • MINNESOTA +3 over NY Giants, assuming someone picks up the Giants from the airport. And that the teams actually have some place to play since the Metrodome roof has collapsed.
  • Baltimore -3 over HOUSTON. Who will be watching this game?

Week 13 NFL Picks

25 26 Days Phillips-Free

Today’s interesting tidbit: the San Diego Chargers – currently 6-5 and in 2nd place in the AFC West – check in as 6-1 favorites to win Super Bowl 45. That’s tied with Atlanta, behind only the Patriots (at 9 to 2). If the playoffs started today, the Chargers wouldn’t make it – they’re seventh in the conference.

It’s hard to argue against the betting public here. Since losing by 3 to the Patriots way back on week 7, the Chargers have won 4 straight, scoring 133 points and giving up 76. Their remaining schedule: Raiders, Chiefs and 49ers – all at home. They close out on the road with games at – oh brother – the Bungles and at Denver.


  • Buffalo -5 over MINNESOTA. The Bills are playing tough, if occassionaly blasphemous, football.
  • MIAMI -5½ over Cleveland. The Browns are a spunky bunch, but they’re young, and young teams don’t win much on the road.

    "I PRAISE YOU 24/7!!!!!! AND IS THIS HOW YOU DO ME!!!!!"
  • Jacksonsville +3 over TENNESSEE. Let the Rusty Smith Era End! Jax is on top of the AFC North, and this is a Great Test for them. Terrible loss at NY Giants last week.
  • KANSAS CITY -8½ over Denver. The “handshake” game is about as exciting as it was ever gonna get for the Broncos this year.
  • Washington +7 over NY GIANTS. The Skins aren’t awful on the road, and the Giants do everything they can to lose games and somehow bungle their way to wins.
  • DETROIT +5 over Chicago. OK, I got beat badly taking the Lions and the points on Thanksgiving Day.
  • GREEN BAY -9 San Franciso.
  • New Orleans -6½ over CINCINNATI. Only 6½? Drew Brees isn’t dead is he?


  • TAMPA BAY +3 over Atlanta. The Young Bucs have only last badly twice this year. I think they’ll keep this division game close.
  • San Diego -13 over Oakland. Oh dear, this could get ugly.
  • SEATTLE -4½ over Carolina. Remember I said I could never take Seattle again this season? Oops. I forget the Panther Rule – the Panthers may not win a game again until 2012.
  • Dallas +5½ over INDIANAPOLIS. The Cowboys are no Chargers, but the Colts are no Colts any more. I don’t think they can run away from the Cowboys.
  • St. Louis -3 over ARIZONA. There’s nothing really to say about this game.

Sunday Night

  • BALTIMORE -3 over Pittsburgh. Baltimore is unbeaten at home. This is a tough game, but I think a close one. Looking for trends? Me either.

Monday Night

  • NY Jets +3½ over NEW ENGLAND. Remember last Monday? No? SF played Arizona? Derek Anderson went off on a rant? No? Nothing?

NFL Week 13 Thursday Night Special – Go Eagles!


  • PHILADELPHIA -8½ over Houston. DeSean Jackson will have to learn to live in that 10-20 yard range; teams will play him deep and tough right at the line – just as the Giants and Bears did. The Texans secondary Stinks Out Loud, so we ought to be able to throw the ball. Of course, I still think the Eagles defense is suspect and Andre Johnson, fresh off of his TKO of Cortland Finnegan, will score. Heck, he could put up 600 yards. This could be an AFL type game, 42-31 kind of affair.

NFL Week 12 Picks

Welcome to a Childress-Free Week 12!

Chilly’s gone, and I imagine Brett’s … happy? So happy, in fact, that he apparently got sick and may have pneumonia. I just got vaccinated against pneumonia. Apparently I have a better doctor than Brett.

Still, Brett doesn’t have Brad to blame any more. Neither does the rest of the team.

The Only Problem Brett Favre Has

They had a “dysfunctional” locker room. Dunno how this helps them on the field, but we’ll see. The only problem Brett has left is the sexting or whatever the hell was going on with Jenn Sterger.


  • WASHINGTON -2 over Minnesota. Brett Favre “might” have “pneumonia.” Minnesota “stinks.” The Vikes are 0-5 on the road and have yet to cover. Why start now?
  • Pittsburgh -6½ over Buffalo. The Bills’ 2 Game Win Streak ends today I think.
  • HOUSTON -5½ over Tennessee. Let the Rusty Smith Era Begin!
  • Jacksonville +7½ over NY GIANTS. Whoa. How are the Giants 7½ point favorites over anyone, anywhere, when they turn the ball over like that? Plus I think both teams want revenge against Tom Coughlin.
  • CLEVELAND -9 over Carolina. In consideration of Panther fan, I don’t have the heart to look up the last time the Browns were 9 point favorites.
  • Green Bay +1½ over ATLANTA. Atlanta has to lose at home some time, why not now? This week’s GAME OF THE CENTURY!


  • Tampa Bay +7½ over BALTIMORE. I’m not convinced either team can score 7½ points, so I’ll take the underdog.
  • OAKLAND -3 over Miami. I feel bad for Miami, but it’s their own damn fault they haven’t had a quarterback in over a decade.
  • Kansas City -2 over SEATTLE. Either Seattle’s a fraud or Kansas City is. Possibly both.
  • St. Louis +3½ over DENVER. The Rams are going to win a road game, I just know it!
  • Philadelphia -3 over CHICAGO. As a true Philadelphian, I am simply waiting for the Other Shoe to drop and watch a completely miserable Eagles game. On the other hand, this is the Bears and Jay Cutler we’re talking about here. The line moved ½ point in the Bears direction during the week.

Sunday Night

  • INDIANAPOLIS -2 over San Diego. Teams somehow, sometimes, just find ways to win when they really shouldn’t.

Monday Night

  • ARIZONA +1 over San Franciso. What is the point of Flex Scheduling if you can’t move a stinker like this one? Eh, I have a couple episodes of “Fringe” DVR’d.